Author:Darren Bates
Employment Alliance for People with Disabilities
Founder | CEO
Language shapes our global culture. Words impact our lives. Language can inspire change and innovation, awaken love, engender hate —or foster discrimination. Disability advocate, Kathy Snow, believes that, “…language shapes our attitudes; our attitudes shape our language, they're intertwined …and attitudes and language drive actions!"
Think back —not very long ago— when words, now considered derogatory slurs, were widely used and accepted to describe race, gender, sexuality or ability. Is that world different from the world we live in today?
The Power of Words
The power of words to shape perception has been proven by researchers in controlled experiments. Psychologists Elizabeth Loftus and John Palmer found that the terms used when people are asked to recall something affect what they recall. For example, the researchers showed a group of people a film of two cars colliding, then asked how fast the cars were going; one week later they asked whether there had been any broken glass.
The participants were divided into two smaller groups. One group was asked, "How fast were the cars going when they bumped into each other?" The other group was asked, "How fast were the cars going when they smashed into each other?" The group that was asked the question that contained the word "smashed" tended to "remember" that the cars were going faster and they recalled "seeing" broken glass when the cars collided —even though there was no broken glass shown in the film. This experiment demonstrates how words have the capacity to influence our character, development and behavior.
Language works invisibly and it shapes our way of thinking. Words have the capacity to affect our the character, development and our behavior. Words mold our way of thinking about people, actions and the world around us.
de·scrip·tors
/diˈskriptərs/
My background is in workforce development, disability employment and global diversity and inclusion. As a consultant, I'm often hired to help companies develop and build-out diversity and inclusion strategies that advance competitive employment opportunities for Americans living with cross-disabilities. I ask every company if they have a Reasonable Accommodation Policy. The words "reasonable accommodation" have a specific legal meaning and must be used in certain contexts, such as policy or government communications. However, if I'm not writing corporate policy or working in a government setting, I use the word “tools” to describe "reasonable accommodations" because that's really what a reasonable accommodation, workplace modification or workplace adjustment is —just a tool that people use to do their jobs or do their jobs better.
To me, the word “accommodation” suggests doing someone a favor and reminds me of other words like "tolerate" or "tolerance" which were popular during the last Presidential election campaigns. When candidates were asked if they supported gay rights, some said, “I have gay friends and…I have tolerance.” I don’t think anyone wants to be tolerated.
—Darren Bates
People living with and without disabilities use workplace tools every day. Have you ever sat in a really bad chair at work? Are you sitting in that chair now? I bet sitting in that bad chair not only has caused lower back strain, but I imagine your job performance has also taken a hit. First of all, let me say I'm sorry. What you need is a new workplace modification. I'm sure your back would feel much better and you might even increase your performance with a simple workplace adjustment or new workplace tool, like a padded or ergonomic chair, a stand-up desk or a pillow placed behind your back. —All of these solutions could be considered “accommodations” or in real-time "workplace tools” —that can help you perform your job, keep your job, be more productive and feel better too.
Respect, Equality, Diversity and Inclusion
The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
—Mark Twain
Articles written on the subject of “disability etiquette” bring about awareness and lively discussion. It’s worth noting that even in the disability community (yes, that is how advocates for inclusion and people with disabilities refer to ourselves), different people are comfortable with different words and expressions. I choose to support changes in the disability lexicon and adopt words that build upon respect, equality and inclusion. I avoid using words or phrases that I feel lead to devaluation, marginalization, prejudice, pity or segregation of people. I also avoid using expressions that tend to label a person by a single trait or medical diagnosis.
I have a male friend that works in the film industry as a make-up artist. When someone is inquisitive enough to ask him straight out if he's gay, he replies, 'Only when I'm having sex with a man.
We, as human beings, each and every one of us —living with and without disabilities— are more than a single trait or label. We are PEOPLE FIRST.
“It is not so much about etiquette.… Words that speak to a person’s medical condition are not appropriate, and it is important to put the person first: a person with a disability versus a diabetic, quadriplegic, et cetera,” says Deborah Dagit, a diversity and inclusion expert with Deb Dagit Diversity LLC and retired Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer of Merck & Co.
When all else fails, it’s OK to ask respectfully, says Dagit, who was born with osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone disease), is four feet tall and uses a wheelchair at work to enhance her mobility. Dagit prefers to be called a “little person.” “I am proud to be associated with this community, but others who are diminutive may think this sounds too much like they are part of a daycare center,” she explains.
I am also not comfortable with being described as wheelchair-bound or confined: My wheelchair and motorized scooter are enabling tools in my life and I am neither tied into them nor unhappy about using them to be safer and more comfortable.”
—Deb Dagit, Deb Dagit Diversity LLC
(Deb Dagit's comments above are excerpted from DiversityInc.com: How Do You Go to the Bathroom?’ ‘Can You Still Have Children?’: Things NOT to Say to People With Disabilities)
Take Time to Consider Intent
If I paused more often to consider and reflect upon a person’s true intent when communicating with me, I probably would’ve avoided some major misunderstandings in my life. --Add to that a person’s generational and cultural background and you might understand the words they use in a very different way.
Take my grandmother who lived to be 96 years old. She was 4’9” and a person who embraced people of all ages, faiths, abilities, races, genders and sexual orientations —and she lived during times of war, great prejudice and discrimination. But every now and then, even my Grama would land a zinger by describing my Uncle Freddy as a “cripple.” Uncle Freddy had polio as a child and walked with a cane and a limp his entire life. There's no doubt that my Grama loved Freddy and meant no harm or disrespect when she described him as a cripple to others. My Grama's culture, generation and life experience shaped her words and descriptors. My family and I knew that. Besides who's going to correct their 96 year old Grama? Not me! She adored my Uncle and with awareness and love, he took the time to understand her intent and why she described him the way she did —it was generational and innocent.
Handicapped parking is still in use (e.g., when referring to parking placards), though the word “handicapped” is a descriptor that is generally considered offensive to the disability community and has been virtually eliminated in most other contexts. Someone who uses the term “handicapped parking” today probably doesn’t intend to offend anyone. Their intention is likely innocent and they may not know or haven't heard any other words to describe what you and I might call “accessible parking.”
The term 'handicapped parking' is funny to me because ...can a parking space really be handicapped —it can be accessible or not accessible.
The terms “accessible placards and accessible parking” are current with national trends that focus on the Person and not a disability. Major cities are replacing the word “handicapped” from written authorities and legislation. Change is slow because it takes legal formalities to remove or change words within city laws and statutes, but you can affect cultural change within your company much faster by immediately replacing “handicapped parking” with “accessible parking” in your organization’s lexis.
Disability Power!
Young people with disabilities are making different changes to our culture and to the disability lexicon by embracing disability and using terms like Disability Power, DEAF Power! Just the other day, I met a young college age guy that describes himself as a Smart-Ass Cripple.These young individuals don’t have a goal to be “mainstreamed” into current society. I’ve heard some kids with disabilities under 20 years old say, “…if people live long enough, they will join our ranks… able-bodied people should consider themselves temporarily abled.”
I don’t have the time to waste on that (insert expletive here). —I’m proud of myself…but what I do care about is when an abled-bodied person tells me how I should describe myself or what I should have as my life goals or what job I should take because I have a disability.
Cathy, a self-proclaimed "rogue hacker" with cerebral palsy and experiencing her first year of college, recently told me that she didn't care if someone called her "disabled" or “handicapped.” She said, “I don’t have the time to waste on that (insert expletive here). —I’m proud of myself…but what I do care about is when an abled-bodied person tells me how I should describe myself or what I should have as my life goals or what job I should take because I have a disability. I have the right not to have some other person’s value system, determined by his/her productivity level, employability or salary, define what I should become…” I celebrate Cathy and others like her for their strength and self-worth, and I wonder where that strength of character comes from and would like to know if it is uniquely generational or a product of good parenting or simply built from their own unique life experiences.
Pride and Prejudice
Words like faggot, impaired, wheelchair-bound, deaf and dumb and retarded might have a different contextual definition for me because I've lived during times of egregious social injustice, violence and other societal expressions of hostility and discrimination. I know that Cathy and other LGBT young and youth with disabilities born in the '80's or later have also experienced discrimination and access barriers. Still Cathy is much younger than me, not even 21 years old, and her world and history are different than mine.
I'm a gay man, a person with a disability and was born in the 1960’s —on the eve of the Civil Rights Movement. I've experienced a full range of negative attitudes towards gay people and people living with disabilities. I remember times in our country when discrimination was legal in many forms; when people with disabilities were "warehoused" in nursing homes, stripped of their dignity and countless other freedoms. People were forced to block buses, close off streets, barricade themselves for days in a Greenwich Village bar and participate in other forms of civil disobedience to protest gross discrimination and fight for equality and civil rights.
It's a very good thing young people with disabilities like Cathy and our LGBT youth give no power to words that have a long history of violence —words that are still used today to ostracize individuals for perceived differences and to cause harm.
Language can change the way we see a person and change how a person sees herself. Words shape our thinking. How we talk to each other and about each other really does matter. It's not so much about etiquette or about being politically correct —it's about being respectful, celebrating our sameness and embracing our differences. No single person or government or word or phrase can cure all wrongs, remove all barriers or dispel all myths but I believe in the tenants of respect, equality, diversity and inclusion. I see great societal value in “building a culture of access and inclusion”™ and that includes choosing to use words and phrases that align with those tenants.